FAKING IT AS A SURFER: 13 Tips
If you have handled a fibreglass and fin apparatus in water, you will be aware of the dangers that come with surfing; sliced heads, black eyes and broken bodies looking like morons are just the tip of the icing. Surfing is a fun game, but it involves may dangers even when the participant has little or no experience. Faking it as a surfer, therefore, is a significant risk but the praise and prestige that comes with being recognised as a surfer are worth all the risk. If you are thinking of faking it as a surfer but do not know how to do it, worry not, here are 13 tips to help fake it until you drown in surfing
Gear Up. Let’s call a spade a spade; no one will believe that you are the surfer you are if get all dressed up in a suit or football gear to the beach. Just like any sport, surfing has its unique apparatus that includes wetsuits and surfboards. While at it, you need to ensure you do not confuse your “audience” by looking like a bodyboarder or even a diver. Don a good wetsuit and parade about in it. In case you cannot get yourself, all squeezed up in a wetsuit, at least just wriggle in half way.
Ooze confidence. It will convince those hawk-eyed fans that you are about to hit those waves at any moment.
Learn the surf jargon. Surfing like many other sports has a range of vocabulary and phrases that are peculiar to it. Therefore, you need to learn the surf jargon if your faking is to become anything at all. You will be tempted to think that the surf lingo is about ripping up, being gnarly or hanging ten. Well, you need to wake up and join us in the 21st century. That jargon is now old and frail, and in fact, it is all washed up. The surf lingo has evolved and currently, none of the above hold any meaning. Get yourself acquainted with the latest surf lingo if you are to make it alive.
Heat up your faking game. That is right, stand and heat up faking game by coming up with undoubted excuses. Let’s face it; surfers hang out on waters with waves. There is absolutely no easy way to simulate it as a surfer without getting yourself wet. Therefore, you need a bag of good excuses if anyone is to believe you. On a few occasions, you may get lucky, and no one notices that you haven’t taken any dip. However, this will not last forever; you need to have something to tell your fans or even other surfers any time and every time they accost you.
Plonk yourself on the sand with your surfboard propping next to you. Also, always be ready to answer any random you may get from other surfers. For instance, when a fellow surfer inquiry about the conditions; you better be prepared with a script.
Lazy around on the water a bit. You also need a bit of getting yourself wet to convince others that you are indeed a good surfer. Look for a spot with gentle waves and lie on your surfboard and lay a bit on water.
Research on a few natural surf skills and practice them. Practice paddling while lying on your stomach and get a few skills catching gentle waves.
Demonstrate your prowess by getting a little into the water then when back makes loud exclamations about anything that is surf related like swell directions. You bet many will take you for a bonafide surfer you are not.
Choose the right surfboard. There are different surfboards designed for varying levels of surfers. Get a board that will make them believe you understand what you are doing.
Choose the right spot. In this regard, go to beaches where you are not likely to find many pro surfers otherwise you risk being outshined.
Look for beginner surfers and hang out with them, but even with them, be careful not to get too involved otherwise you risk being caught in our less.
At least be a good swimmer. Yes, you can risk not being a good surfer, but, you cannot endanger your life by not being a good swimmer at the same time.
Live your lie. Practice the lie every day and try as much as possible to get yourself interested in stuff that an ordinary surfer will be etc.
Living a lie is not easy, and often you will be caught midway your lies. However, there are some lies that you can live with like faking it like a surfer for as long as it may take for you to be satisfied. If you feel like doing it, do it until you have got enough, maybe in the process, you may learn one or two things that will, in the end, better your surfing skills.